Ahem. Dear diary or something. Yesterday was a very special day. I’ve created a myspace page.
And if that’s not bad enough, I even uploaded a work-in-progress track to that same…page. An exclusive.
Anyway, enough with the whining and guilt-tripping — it’s there, go take a look, listen to the new unfinished track titled "A thousand sunsets across the universe", write a comment. I thought it’s better if I do it myself than to wait for some impostor to steal my identity, lol :-D
I’m freaking out because of the inevitable exams, my mother is planning her retirement next year, gotta sort out my life and stuff. Earn a living. Yes, my parents still support me financially and I’m eternally thankful, but it’s not exactly the greatest feeling in the world. I’ll be 28 in April, God…
I’ve got exam in telecommunications in 7 hours and 45 minutes. Wish me luck.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about life, non-employment, money, entertainment industry, addictions, feelings, thoughts and all other things earthly that could come to one’s mind. I’ve also been thinking that I have this website. And I’m not using it to express myself - my thoughts, my beliefs, everything that wants (and needs) to come out of me. Because I’d have to call it a blog then.
Well, I just might do that, come May 1st. Do all the things I’ve been promising (mainly to myself) for years. Maybe not. I’m sometimes a puzzle to my own little self. We’ll see about that when the time is right, for now, I’d like to explore some other subjects.
A month ago I went to a doctor. Just for fun, so to say. My father had an Electro Physiological Frequency Xrroid scheduled and I joined him because I’ve never had a complete physical check in my life. I thought this could be a good start, even though the whole thing sounds kinda fishy. The doctor was worried about my heart condition during the scan, even before my results were fully processed and examined. I got them in my mail couple of days later and it didn’t look so good. I was told that if I continue living this way (too much stress, 4-5 cups of coffee a day, cigarettes, beer, not enough water but various juice drinks instead - nothing too strange for a 26 year old kid) I can expect a heart attack in 5 years. I didn’t want to hear that. I took the scan to find out that everything’s ok, not the other way around. And my heart wasn’t the only problem. I don’t know how much I should trust this scan and doctor’s interpretation of results, but it really got to me.
I’m not a religious person and I don’t go to church, but I’m not an atheist either. I have faith - in people and their sense of right - and I believe that if one does good - good things will happen to them. Eventually. Just wanted to clarify my beliefs before I mention the Lent. My mother feels approximately the same way about religion(s) as I do, and she was a bit pissed off when I told her that I’m quitting certain things because it’s Lent. “Just quit and be over with it, you don’t need Lent to do it.”, she said. And I couldn’t explain why I did need the Lent. I guess living in a catholic society has to leave a small mark on a person’s brain :)
So, as the time of Lent approached, I’ve decided that I should (try to) quit cigarettes, coffee and alcohol. I know I made a stupid call by giving up all three at the same time, but I wasn’t thinking about the consequences at the moment.
I’ve had no problem giving up coffee, tea is much better and my sleep is benefiting from the lack of it (coffee).
Cigarettes are something much different. Harder to abandon. Not because of the physical and/or psychological addiction, but because of the habit. My habit was to hold something in-between my fingers and lips while watching TV in the evening, or when I’m out with friends. It’s true what people say: with a cigarette, you’re not alone. Cigarette is a perfect filler. For anything. And a friend when no-one’s around ;) As more days pass, I’m doing better and don’t miss them that much anymore, but the Lent is over on Easter, 16th of April, my birthday. I know I will light up a cigarette then. I just don’t know if I’ll like it.
Alcohol. I’m not much of a drinker, don’t even like the “hard” stuff. I drink beer (Stella Artois is my personal favorite), and gin tonic on occasion. But I miss it and can’t wait to taste that beautiful liquid again :)
Anyhow, I believe I’ve at least managed to give up coffee, and we’ll see how I’ll feel about cigarettes. Wish me luck and a strong will ;)
Ps.: To anyone trying to kick a bad habit (or three), a word of advice: do it one by one, trust me.
